


Trust

by hystericalselcouth



Category: Spooks | MI-5
Genre: Dialogue, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 05:20:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3755899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hystericalselcouth/pseuds/hystericalselcouth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Do you kill people, Tom?”<br/>“No.”<br/>“Have you killed a person, Tom?”<br/>“Yes.”<br/>“Today?”<br/>“I don’t know……"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trust

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything, I make no profits.

Tom felt a little queasy from the day’s events. While he lay against the lamp post that afternoon, swimming in half-consciousness with the medics stitching him back up and Zoe by his side, the last words he remembered from the Kurdish rebel still troubled him.

“You spies never live. Always lying, living the lives of ghosts. You are nothing, NOTHING.”

 

Danny pulled up in front of Ellie’s house.

“You’ll be alright?”

“Yeah, I will,” Tom replied, wincing as he sat up.

Tom managed to reach the front door without stumbling, then fumbled with the keys. His eyes grew accustomed to the dim orange light and he allowed himself a glass of wine when he got inside. He fell back into the sofa and pain flared up in his body.

“Damn, it hurts,” he said to himself.

Once again, he found himself thinking over the Kurd’s words, “No life,” he thought.

Just then, he heard light footsteps coming down the stairs. He was too tired to turn, but with his training kicking in, he knew it was Lucy. His eyes caught the sight of the drawings and cards on the table before him as Lucy’s warm body settled down on the sofa next to him. Almost on cue, the moment he thought of living a happy-family lifestyle like in the drawings, Lucy’s head rested on his wound. Tom was barely able to hide the pain as he sipped wine from the glass. He felt Ellie’s soft hands stroke his hair. He didn’t remember noticing she had come down. On the television, news of the Turkish Embassy played. Again, the Kurd’s voice returned to him – “ _nothing._ ”

Tom made his decision. Mustering all the courage he could, he spoke without his voice quivering.

“Ellie,” he spoke weakly, “I……you’ve heard about the Turkish Embassy, yes?”

“Yeah, yeah, I did. Shame. Did you get those computers fixed?”

Tom stayed silent, wondering if trying to explain was a mistake after all.

“Tom? Are you alright? You look pale…”

“Ellie, sit down, please?”

“What….Tom?” Ellie asked as she sat down.

“I’m not a computer technician.”

Ellie’s eyes grew wide as she pondered, “Tom? What do you……?”

“Ellie, I was shot today…..there,” he said and pointed at the television.

“What do you mean, Tom?” she asked, with fear in her voice, “Are you a…..terrorist?”

Tom only managed to chuckle, but the pain in his side turned it into a grimace.

“No, but….not very different.”

Silence ensued.

“Ellie….I’m a spy. That woman, the Kurd, she said something to me today, so I’ve decided to tell you right now. Ellie, I’m a spy.”

“For the Kurds?”

Matthew chuckled again, and it looked more like laughter this time.

“No, for the British Security Service.”

“MI5?” Ellie asked disbelievingly.

Uncomfortable silence followed.

“Lucy, I think you should go to bed now,” Ellie said firmly as she stood up.

Lucy, a clever girl, ran off without a word.

“Matthew, is that even your name? No, don’t answer that. Are you spying on us? No, yes, tell me.”

“No, I am not.”

“Then why didn’t you tell us before?”

“You had to be vetted first.”

“Vetted? That wouldn’t have mattered if you love us. Do you really love us, Matthew, are you even Matthew?”

“Yes, I love you and I love Lucy.”

Tension grew in the air.

“Are you Matthew?”

“No,” Tom replied quietly. When Ellie sighed exasperatedly, Tom explained, “My name is….” His voice broke in his throat, “Tom, Tom Quinn.”

Ellie sniffed, ridiculed.

“Tom …Quinn?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“Do you kill people, Tom?”

“No.”

“Have you killed a person, Tom?”

“Yes.”

“Today?”

“I don’t know…….I have to go and check with Special Forces.”

Ellie laughed, outraged and angry.

“You don’t even know if you’ve killed someone or not? Matthew, how can I-”

She sat down with a sob and looked at him wearily. Then, without a word, she went upstairs and shut her door, leaving Tom Quinn seated on the sofa below.


End file.
